Sunday, September 11, 2011

some time for me!

this week I am taking a 'me' week

and man that feels good to say (and even better to live!)

a whole week off from work to just stay home with no real agenda or plan (but to finish painting the living space because its been months!) and to let loose the house wife I so desperately want to be!

this week is the first time since we got married in November that I have had a relaxing break such as this (except for the busy Christmas season and a few long weekends with an extra day thrown in here and there)

and let me tell you...

it is SO much needed!

To be truthful, this first year so far has been hard on me.

hard and wonderful all in the same moment (I really DO love doing life with Mr A and we have had plenty of amazing moments!)

But I've been having such an inner struggle...

of feeling so far away from God, of not feeling like I am doing the best I can, of hating the it-is-always-messy house, of always being tired and sore (the joy of 5am alarms and loong train trips!) of letting tears fall slowly because I am not able to live up to those lovely ideals I built up in my head.  of trying to shake the sickies more times than ever before...

Feeling like I've let him down... like I've let me down!

and feeling like i've lost a little bit of me. the way I used to be so joyful and so SECURE in him.

and that's also prob why I haven't been blogging.

too much to say, but no words or heart to say it.

So here's to a week of spring cleaning of no agendas or deadlines.

Of diving deep into the word that is so desperatly needed.

of catching up with those so dear to my heart!

and of a little bit of crafting too!

But can I just say that so far today has been wonderful AND just what the Dr ordered!

today found me..

outdoors enjoying a healthy fruit salad, cuppa and browsing my fav mag at breakfast (and letting those legs get some sun!!)

of actually putting a tape on and exercising (I have been having bad back issues and am not dreading my chiropractor appointment this week !!)

two fresh clean loads of laundry drying in the sunshine

Starting a deep house clean and organizing - man it looks so good in there now!

wandering slowely through a fabric store just to look at pretty things ...

and looking at  lovely lounges and dreaming the way they would look at home (cause things like that make my heart happy)

sitting outside enjoying an afternoon cup of coffee, listening to the birdsong and blogging (blogging people!)

+ of being there when he gets home to welcome him with kisses and a lovely home made meal (one of our summer favourites)

of appreciating this time to just be me :)

hopefully I will be back to this spot with a slightly more fun post soon!

kt x